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Fred Uses a Spork - It's Fred!
Fred Uses a Spork is the 6th episode of the "It's Fred!" animated series, uploaded onto the Fred YouTube channel on February 9, 2012. Description Fred thinks going on a hike with Judy is the perfect way to win her heart. The only problem is that Kevin does too. Transcript Fred: (in the hospital, bandaged on his head and his left cheek) Hey, it's Fred! Today is definitely going to be remembered as the worst day of my life! And not just because I was been to a rocket and I did nearly hack off an arm! Okay, it wasn't my arm. It was Kevin's, but it was still really, really gross! It all started when Judy and I were talking about really personal stuff, like we sometimes always do. (screen cuts to Fred in one of the stalls of the girls' bathroom) Judy: (offscreen) I hate my hair. I want snooki hair. Orange Girl: (offscreen) That would look so hot. (screen cuts to Judy and the other 2 girls while Fred sneaks up to see what's going on) Judy: (brushes her hair) You know what else I want? Tabby: To be a Kardashian? Judy: (scoffs) Get real. I want to go hiking on a mountain and commune with nature. (screen cuts to Fred sitting down) Fred: (to everyone) Oh my gammit, this is so perfect! All I have to do is ask Judy to go on a mountain hike and then she'll fall madly in love with me and want to share my toothbrush and everything! (Kevin opens the door and enters the bathroom when Fred hears him) Kevin: (offscreen) What up, foxes? Judy, Tabby & The Orange Girl: (offscreen) Hi, Kevin. (screen cuts to Kevin, Judy and the 2 girls while Fred sneaks up again) Orange Girl: Judy wants to go hiking. Judy: But I don't know my way around those mountain trails. I'm afraid I'll get lost. Kevin: Uh, I'll... I'll take you on a hike, Judy. I never get lost. My compass always shows me the way to go. Fred: (screams angrily and walks out of the stall) Why does Kevin always show up and steal my good ideas?! Kevin: Dude! What are you doing in the girls' room? (Fred angrily screams again and runs out of the bathroom, screen cuts to Fred wearing his troop costume and looks in the mirror to see how good he looks) Fred: I'm not really a park ranger. My mom's friend gave me this evidence right before he got kicked off the police force. It was all that was left after a bear attacked a bunch of Chinese Boy Scouts. But lucky for me, it was my size. (screen cuts to Kevin and Judy hiking in the mountains while holding their hands, then Fred pops out behind the bush) Fred: Oh, hey, Judy. (grumpy) Hey, Kevin. (nervous) What are you guys doing here? Kevin: We're taking a hike. The same thing you should do... somewhere else. Fred: Your quick wit is very amusing, Kevin. (walks out of the bush) However, I have a solemn duty to perform here on this mountaintop. Judy: You work here? Fred: Work might be too strong a word, Judy. You see, as a park ranger, I love what I do, here on this mountain, communing with nature. Kevin: What kind of park ranger has Chinese writing on his shirt? Fred: Our division is very multicultural, Kevin. Perhaps, I can take you on a special trail only I know. You'll see some incredible sights. Judy: That sounds perfect. (screen cuts to Fred in the hospital) Fred: Yes, it would have been perfect. It could have been the best entire day of my whole life. Except for one thing. (screen cuts to Fred, Judy and Kevin in the mountain trail, feeling tired and lost, eagle squawks) Kevin: (sighs) We're lost, aren't we? Fred: They changed all these trails since Park Ranger school! (wolf howls) Kevin: (gasps) Oh no! I... I must've lost my cell phone! We can't call for help! Judy: We're gonna die up here on this mountain, aren't we? Fred: If we can just survive for a few weeks, I'm sure someone will eventually notice us missing. Kevin: (sadly grabs Judy's left arm) Judy, if this is the end, I would like you to marry me, so then we don't die alone. (lets go) Judy: Aww, Kevin! That is so sweet! Fred: (angrily) Oh my gamet, Kevin! Why do you always have to ruin my life?! (Fred words, "my life" was echoed through the mountains until it rumbles, the boulder falls from the top of the trail, dust blows up until it clears, the boulder lands onto Kevin's right arm and Fred was laying on top of it) Kevin: OWWW!!!! Oh, my arm is stuck! I can't move! (Fred gets down from the boulder) Judy: Ooh, it's just like that movie. Fred: Judy's right. Looks like we'll have to cut off your arm in order to free you! Lucky for you, I have this spork. (takes the spork out of his pocket) Kevin: NO, NO, NO, NO!!! No one is cutting off my arm! Judy: Let him do it, Kevin! I'm too young to be a widow! (Fred covers his eyes with his left hand, pokes Kevin's arm with a spork in his right hand and laughs evilly) Kevin: AHH!!! OWW!!! AHH!!! Fred: Just think happy thoughts. It won't hurt so bad. (bear growls) Fred: (grabs Judy's hand) Come on, Judy! Let's save ourselves while we still can! Judy: It's better this way, Kevin. I may not have liked you as much with only one arm. (walks away with Fred) Kevin: (scared) Wait, no! Don't leave me here! (bear growls to Kevin while Fred and Judy climbs up on the tree branch, Kevin get shocked and scared) Kevin: Oh God! Half mercy! STOP!!! OWW!!! Judy: (covers her eyes) I can't watch! Fred: It's okay, Judy! I'm here for you now. (to everyone) It was at that moment that I realized I let my carnal lust blind my good judgement. I, Fred Figglehorn could no longer hide in the shadows. (suddenly, the branch breaks where Fred is sitting on, he falls and hangs onto another branch where a beehive full of bees is on there) Fred: AHH!!! AHH!!! GET OFF OF ME!!! AHH!!! (then suddenly, Fred and the beehive falls off the branch and lands onto the same trail where Kevin and the bear are in, he spins around with bees all over him until he bumps onto the bear and the bear growls angrily, screen cuts to Judy still sitting on the tree with Fred's troop hat, cell phone rings and Judy answers it) Judy: Hello? (the call happens to be the 2 green people) Green Man: Why don't you I love...? (he and his wife talking weird) Judy: Oh my God, I have no idea what you're saying! You have the wrong number! (screen cuts to Fred gets grabbed by the bear, he continues screaming in terror and the bear continues growling, screen fades in black) Fred: (voice only) They saved my heart stopped beating for 3 minutes. (screen cuts to Fred in the hospital) Fred: So I guess it wasn't such a bad day after all. I beat Kevin at his own game as Judy and I took the first step in our relationship. Communing with nature together. (screen cuts to the mountains when the helicopter passes by, holding the bear in the net) Fred: (offscreen) Maybe one day, Judy and I will tell our grandkids about this day. So long as Judy survives her bee sting allergy and my bear claw wounds don't get too infected. (screen cuts to Fred) Fred: Peace out, gangstas! (static cuts, "Tater Haters" music plays) (Watch More Episodes, with a hand with one finger pointing at the thumbnails) (the 2 videos showing are "Fred Gets A Monkey" and "Fred Goes On A Field Trip") (Click Here to Subscribe) (Facebook: /FredFigglehorn) (Twitter: @FredFigglehorn) ("Tater Haters" music stops, static cuts) Characters * Fred Figglehorn * Judy * Kevin * Orange Girl * Tabby * Bear * Green Man * Green Woman Category:Videos